growing into my new purpose

All 3 of my boys have been in school for about 2 months and I’ll be straight up, I have not been doing well. I talked a big game of wanting them all in school but the reality of that hit me like ton of bricks. All of a sudden my daily “purpose” shifted.

I first found out I was becoming a mom at the ripe age of 24, I immediately fell into the mommy role and although a lot has changed over the last almost 13 years one thing remains the same I’m the mama and I do all the mama things.

Now I’m not needed as much, have what seems like painful amounts of time on my hands and while I thought this is what I’ve always wanted, turns out it’s kinda not. I wrongly equate a lot of my worth with being busy and making money. Having this time while not simultaneously be drowning in orders has left me feeling all kinds of out of whack.

So in turn I’ve been distant and retreating. I have felt guilty about not just enjoying this amazing life we have been given. I’ve been angry that I can’t feel ease with our peaceful life. I am sad that I don’t allow understanding to myself. Give grace that I’m still healing from a very toxic life environment that made me live a life that if I wasn’t working my ass off we wouldn’t survive.

I can finally breathe and be the woman I was unable to be for so long, but it’s taking time to figure out who that really is. 🖤

If you’re starting a new role or beginning a new chapter I hope you allow the shift to happen and to grow in your newest purpose. You are worthy without a busy schedule or tons of likes. You value is not based on your production or sales. (And yes I’m talking to myself here too! 🥺🥰)

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